The Calm to Weather the Storm

The Calm to Weather the Storm

Meditation. Sitting in stillness for a period of time doing … nothing. Breathing, but I do that anyway, right ? Focusing on breath. Well, I’d rather do that WHILE moving … like yoga, or cycling, or even running ?  But just sitting & breathing? I can’t sit still that long. 

It’s funny how someone can suggest something and all of a sudden, on the 3,822 time, it clicks. And we try it. And  we don’t hate it. Such is how my meditation practice goes.

I’ve learned to embrace the quiet.  In slowing down, I’ve freed some headspace for “new.”  Sometimes I find myself dreaming. Other times I find myself feeling – emotions I din’t even realize were there, or more likely tried to ignore.  

I find that my productivity has gone up, rather than what I assumed, that it would go down.  By spending the minutes in stillness, I learned that there were still enough minutes to do all the other “stuff.”  The house didn’t burn down, everyone still got fed, the dog was walked.  Yet, a sense of calm is emerging.  Albeit slowly, this feeling of peace and total faith is growing.  This destination is a place I have been seeking for a long time.  

The greatest change I’ve noticed is my ability to articulate thoughts and feelings at a higher level.  While clearing my mind, and breathing, I’m told we are practicing awareness.  That’s the mental training required to connect quickly and efficiently to the messages our body sends – thorough physiological changes (increased heart rate, sweaty palms, etc.), emotions, even actions.  By recognizing these messages I’ve found that I can identify my feelings, and share them, leading to meaningful conversations and deeper connections to loved ones.  Read.  that. again.  Arguments or disagreements have been shorter.  Level headed-ness prevails (ok, more than it did),  and love is richer.  

Whispers are romantic.  The first glimmer of the sunrise instills hope.  The blush that floods the face just before the wide grin glows.  The very light wind signals change.  The nudge encourages.  These subtleties often come before the scream, the sunburn, the bellowing laughter, the monsoon, or the giant shove.  Maybe those can be avoided all together.  Or maybe we just relish in the  magic of those moments.  They are ones we often miss.  But what would happen if we didn’t?  

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The “less than sunny” side

The “less than” sunny side

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  My experience dictates that the importance of mental health has never been addressed more.  For that, we should all give thanks.  As with most topics that are “no fun,” we have more work to do.  Suicide rates have increased by 35% between 1999 and 2018 in the U.S.  In 2020, the mean weekly number of ER visits for suspected suicide attempts were 26% higher in the summer, and as much as 51% in the winter.  Teen girls are particularly vulnerable.  

In an effort to curb the stigma of mental illness, I’d first like to declare I’m not an expert. But I’ve witnessed a lot of mental health crisises and I’ve done a fair amount of research. 

Much like an autoimmune disease, mental health issues arise when natural systems in our body go awry. The feelings of anxiety and fear are natural reactions that kick off physiological reactions in the body meant to keep us safe from threats. It’s when these systems overreact where we run into trouble. So, it’s complicated, especially considering a judgement of “overreacting” is largely subjective. 

As we assess “mental health” issues that surround us, when we see them play out with friends or family, we often say “this doesn’t make sense.”  To that I’d say, “exactly.” It doesn’t make sense. That’s the very heart of those moments when our minds hiccup, play tricks on us, or downright betray us. 

Volumes of research point toward the idea that our minds lead to many illnesses that ail our physical bodies. It’s a matter of getting to the root cause. Much like a dog that  uncharacteristically bites, most trainers will tell you there were warning signs ignored. Our minds often prove to be the compass to exactly where we need to go. But it’s so damn powerful, it’s easy to ignore the warning signs. 

When we don’t heed the warning calls, admit, address, and tackle them, the troubles will make their way to the surface, one way or another. And when they do, we have little to no control over how they show up. And most of all – we can’t decide when the timing is convenient. 

If you’ve faced these sorts of things, or are currently navigating, my heart goes out to you.  If you’ve never dealt with any of this, I’d suggest you take a moment to express gratitude. My dark side might also say, “brace yourself, it’s coming.” 

In any case, I’d dare you to find a time you regretted leading with compassion. Reach out.  Ask questions.  Listen without judgement.  Try something.  Anything.  Chances are your efforts will be appreciated more than you’ll ever know.  

Suicide is currently the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. and rising. This is a problem that money can’t solve.  The only way out is through community, connection, and love.  

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